GOD BLESS YOU and Rachel. May you have a blessed married life together.

Best to you Kevin and Rachel.  The most valuable advice I've ever heard is this: in order to make a marriage sucessful, it is not a 50-50 proposition.  both people have to give 100% or it doesn't work.  If some little dispute or ill feeling comes up, deal with it by communicating right away so things don't get out of hand.  Don't let little hurts, etc. build up because that can really erode your relationship-communicate and let it go.   Carol

Make sure you have the a left and right shoe that match....When I got married, I was so nervous that I grabed a pair of shoes sitting on the chair, thought they were the ones I was suppose to wear,  went out the door and to the my wedding, getting dressed with 15 minutes to go and WA-LA!!!!  2 right shoes, no left and they were different styles..................

Any ways besides that make sure you have guy time/space and that she has girl time/space....

Faith...God at the center! Communication fits real well in a marriage, too. If we didn't have our faith, I'm not so sure the outcome of some of the life struggles would've turned out so favorably. Having your faith doesn't guarantee that there won't be mole hills, or even mountains, to overcome BUT with your God at the center....He WILL make a way!

Song Suggestions:
"When You Say Nothing At All"- Allison Krauss version

"Battle Hymn Of Love" - Kathy Mattea

Love and Prayers to you both!
The Cuttle Family

Sense of humor------52 years  in a few days & still laughing!   Compliments when the other needs them, as well.   ~CS~

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we cannot see."                                                              ~J. W. Whitehead~

Kevin

 You already have it right but you don't see that yet. You are already married in every sense of the word now you'll have that piece of paper that matters so much to so many only because we live in an illusory society that beleives that paper is more important then action.

 Enough about that. The most important part of marriage is mutal respect without it there will be no communication, without communication everything else falls apart. All people communicate but not always respectfully which is why I think it starts there.

 People often show the best of themselves to coworkers, schoolmates, etc and mistreat their families by showing lack of respect.

As another posted mentioned you will let Rachel down at times and likewise she will let you down. If you respect each other the impact of the let down is not as traumatic.

 Also remember there are three sides to every argument, Kevin's perception, Rachel's perception and the truth lies in between the two perceptions.

Treat inlaws with respect on both sides but remember that it's your marriage not theirs and don't try to duplicate what they have or anyone else for that matter. Marriages are like fingerprints no two are alike and never will be no matter what fantasy people try to buy into.

Communication is very importation.  Also don't critizie. The 2 need to give and take.It shouldn't matter how the dishwasher is loaded or the towels are folded.  What's important is that it got done.  It's nice when husband and wife help out each other without being asked to.  Always be kind,loving and understanding of the in-laws.

Communication is very importation.  Also don't critizie. The 2 need to give and take.It shouldn't matter how the dishwasher is loaded or the towels are folded.  What's important is that it got done.  It's nice when husband and wife help out each other without being asked to.  Always be kind,loving and understanding of the in-laws.

Kevin, my husband and I celebrated our tenth anniversary this year, and I know he would agree with me when I say that the key to a successful, happy marriage is communication.  As long as you and Rachel are open with each other, feel free to share your feellings (even the hard ones) with each other, and can truly listen to the other, you'll be just fine.  Conflict of any kind usually stems from hurt feelings that are bottled up...so try not to do that.  Sometimes what you may hear from the other will hurt, but listen, nonetheless.  Be open.  Be KIND to each other.  And, speaking from a woman's point of view, never underestimate "the little things."  Sometimes cleaning up after dinner or taking on the dirty bathroom without being asked does volumns more than bringing home flowers.  Although, that's pretty nice too! ;o)

Good luck!

Rebecca

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift... that's why they call it the present."

The dear priest that married us told my husband during the marriage prep to always treat me like a princess.. and although he has long forgotten this, for Rachel's sake I hope you don't ;-)

I think I mentioned this before - my husband and I dated for seven and half years before our wedding (dating for close to 6 and being engaged for a year and half). We met young; I was 16 and he was 18. He went away to college his freshman year, and we corresponded via snail mail (back in 1995-1996 when e-mail was still a novelty). When he would come home for a long weekend, we would go out and talk and get to know each other better. What really solidified our relationship is that he decided to come home after his freshman year and finish his degree at Xavier. We grew closer and closer from that point on. Yes, we have had fights, but in the five years that we have been married, I can think of only two or so where we were really mad at each other. The last big fight and make-up we had was when we conceived our son two and half years ago :)

Like what the other readers have posted, you and Rachel have been together so long that marriage should be no sweat. You and Rachel are probably each other's best friends (my husband and I are). I do understand where you are coming from about being nervous. My husband was a wreck wondering if he would be able to support me and himself while I was in graduate school fulltime. And there was also the looming fear of messing up.

No marriage is perfect. You'll let Rachel down; she'll let you down; it's inevitable. We're human. But you also know each other's weaknesses and strengths, so don't set the bar too high. A solid friendship, I believe, is paramount in establishing a good marriage.

You say that marriage sounds like a lot of work. Here's a newsflash: if you're working hard to keep up a marriage, then something is wrong. My marriage (just like when we were dating) is completely carefree; we don't work at being happy. We just are. If your relationship with Rachel has a similar carefree attitude, that will (or at least it should) carry over with you as you move beyond the honeymoon phase into the forever after.

So, you're looking for a bit of wisdom, well, here it is. Laugh a lot, have plenty of sex, go out on "date nights," and say "I love you" as often as possible. Best of luck to you and Rachel!

I think you have a hint right in your own post - compromise.  42 years married here and still working at it.  It sounds like you are headed in the right driection.  Best wishes for many happy years together.

 We got married when we were 29 and 28. Like you in some ways we were together for 8 years before the wedding. My husbands kidds that it took him that long to train me.  We are going on 33 years in Feb. I think that knowing someone for this long you know each other so well that there won't be any surprises. It has worked for us, I can honestly say we have never had a fight. I am sure you two will do just find. The best wishes to you both. Take lots of pictures the day go so fast.

I agree with KJuneBug in that this one is really a fast song!!!! I still have song #1 stuck in my mind, Thanks Kevin As for our secret of staying married so long and making it work bascially team work.  That and 4 kids in 8 years!!

KJunebug, thanks, I will definitely keep any advice to heart...I know nothing about marriage, but obviously you, and others on this site, who are in one, are experts.....You know, I think it would be fun to see what Lovina thinks about this: what is the one piece of advice she'd give for a happy, long, fulfilling marriage...I am going to speak to her on Monday and I'll make a point to ask her

Okay, I will go first- about the song, You must like to dance fast dances!  We like the slow ones, it is nice to be close to one another, it is like a little escape.  We've been known to suddenly dance if a song comes on that we like (at home), it completely mortifies our children, but they need to see Dad and Mom lovin' a little!!  Don't be afraid to give a little kiss in front of the children either, this sends some of ours running too.

On marriage- This may sound scary, but it serves well when there are disputes.  Marriage is forever, better, worse. Because that's what the Bible says, and I am not one to mess with the authority of God (He's really scary!!)

You may already know this one, buy separate tubes of toothpaste and don't eat a big batch of something garlicky unless you both are eating the same thing.

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:5